Have you ever found yourself sitting in a field just because the last time you were there you were with someone who made you feel like the world didnt exist?

did you realise that the soul you were meant for was the soul that was made for you,only to find out one day to late?do you ever say to yourselfn "i have no regrets...save one"?
i know exacly how you feel you wake up in the morning with that sensation that they were just there ,and the absence is almost too much to bear.you catch youself humming a song for them and realise that the pit in your stomach is the place where happyness used to be your only sustenance.you turn to tell them a joke or a thought ,and theyre just not there.what the hell are you suposed to do with that energy?what are you suposed to do with that agony?why does it come so suddenly,out of nowhere ,when youre feeling so strong and secure?and more importantly ,when the fuck does it go away???
the truth is it doesnt.It fades surely but never goes away.You can make a thousand promises to yourself that youll take that same fantastic love and give it to someone else ,but the moment you see that person with someone else .its like a gut full of razorblades.It never gets easier.And it shouldnt really.
I mean whats the point of consuming love if cant be be consumed with the loss of it?What is the point of feeling likr you could live and breathe for that person if youre also not willin to die without them?The destruction is so severe that the very thought of it makes you want to throw up.The very knowlege of loss is so extreme that your heart breaks over and over and over!!
Anyone with a heart at all has dealt with it.Anyone who has given up identity for dualty has dealt with it.Anyone who has ever loved with every fibre in their being has known the excruciating pian of having it ripped apart.
I know exacly how you feel. I know because that's the only way I know how to truly love, with everything I've got and anything I can find. My heart won't let me hold back. My mind won't stop me from surging forward.My flesh is too weak for anything less than extroadiary.It wasnt to long ago before that i knew exacly what i wanted and how i felt.Then again ,it wasnt too long ago that i had it stripped from me like a discarded car in a junkyard.I became so jaded and angry that i cursed the sky and spat on the very skin i was printed on.The hellish thing is that i still see this person , and i have to bite back bile and grief with all my might.
To put it lightly, it fucking sucks.Its the worst feeling ive ever known.Its the worst despair ive ever experienced ,but at the end of the day i also that you cant have it both ways.You cant feel that good about someone and not feel when youre without them,Its simple physics: energy begets energy , love begets love and sadness begets sadness.
You move forward whether you like it or not.You keep putting each foot in front of the other and you make yourself taste the smile again and move on.You have to -its your job as a human.To give up on everything is to say you had nothing to offer in the first place.The reality is that we are all going to know this pain.Its a very real expectation.
THIS IS HOW WE GROW.This is how we LEARN.This is how we LIVE ,and god willing ,this is how we LOVE.
We are all wired to need eachother.If we dont we close the doors on our own revolution.We deny ourselves the right to be free and human and loved , so embrace this chaos we call emotion.Never let yourself feel like you cant be wide open , because the only people on this planet that can hold us back are the ones who stare us down in the mirror.Its cruel catch-22 sometimes, knowing that we can give power to others over how we feel and love.
Hopefully you know exacly how I feel.